I know, to some of you, it must sound strange; “a 17 year old boy being in love with older women.” But it is true.
You see, first there is my mom. She’s an older woman and I love her so very, very much. One reason for loving her is she brought me into this world; having loved me first. Before I even knew what love is, she loved and cared for me . My mom has been everything I could want or ask for in a mother. She’s always, for as long as I can remember, guided me in the direction I must go to one day become a man. To have responsibility to, and for, my own family and home, whether here in my immediate family or my own family in the future; she’s setting examples on how to love my own children one day. To work and save my money, so when a need, or a want, comes I’m prepared to accept it responsibly and without regret. This teaches me to provide for myself and, one day, my own family. She’s taught me the value of a good education and how my education will one day reward me with a good job which will enable me to meet those responsibilities wisely.
She’s taught me to listen and to speak my beliefs openly and honestly. Regardless of the consequences of which might be the result. And, there has been consequences for telling the truth. She also provided those consequences. Always fairly administered. She never yells at my falling down nor when she hands out those punishments. She’s firm but always fair. It took me a long time to realize she punishes because she loves. Have I disappointed my mom? Of course. Has she ever truly disappointed me? Never. Because she loves me she wants the very best for me.
My mom has always cared for me in a way that can only be described as nurturing, tender and with the love only a mother can provide. As a child, whenever I’d fall down, she was there to pick me up, dry my tears and attend my boo-boo’s. Whether these were emotional, spiritual or physical her love for me prevailed and she always makes me feel safe and secure afterwards.
My mom and I can laugh together and, when necessarily, we can share tears of joy or sorrow. I guess we support each other in that way… What I think is funny is whenever I am sneaking around, like young boys do, she always shows up. Like a mother hen. And, I’m sure I give myself away by some look on my face which radiates “I’m guilty or, yeah mom I’m up to something.” And I have come to recognize her looks too. Like when I am up to something and radiating my “yes, I’m guilty” look; she fixes her eyes on me, turns her head to one side and, simultaneously turns her eyes back towards me. It tells me, “I’m wise to you, so what ever you’re doing – stop it!” Normally I will – because I love her too much to cause her pain or disappointment. After all, she loves me to much – to deliberately hurt her. It would be soooo wrong of me.
Yep, I’m in love with older women and my mom is just one example:
There’s my grandmothers, my aunts and my older sister. Wait! did I just say “my older sister?” She’s terrible to me at times. Oh, well. Got to love her.